Mr. Rabbit
THURSDAY, JUNE 12 2025 - breakfast in the morning
yesterday was a trip to the grocery. I took a bag of turmeric with the intent of making ! Tofu Scramble ! so when I got up this early morning it was kind of set in stone i would make this meal.
my Dad said it tasted Good !! he kept eating more. and my uncle who appeared out of nowhere) And my Lola (who ! cooks and bakes for a living ! her opinion is of high regard !!) all said it tasted like real scrambled eggs !!! just wanted to let you know that. I Win Apparently. had itwith avocado on a ! toasted in the oven !wholeWheat bagel. With my favborite favorite lettuce. i do think i added too much turmeric though. that's okay ! next time.
soba
SUNDAY, JUNE 10 2025 - the covers yearn for your weight
only reason stopping me from Getting Out There or whatever. is the fact I can't speak my own country's language. I didn't grow up speaking tagalog I grew up Listening. I understand more than I do communicate. I can articulate words in my head but I can't connect with this lack.
I love. people. I Love talking to people. I love the small talk, the humanity of it. I can't do that here - the push and pull. Sometimes I think about living in an english speaking country and then I think about all the work i'd have to do in order to get anywhere close to living anywhere but here. Sometimes I think I will forever be in stasis.
it's not like i have the energy for it, either. im in no certainty of the future, of course, maybe ill undergo a sudden change and my life flips around and im surrounded by things i can touch. but,
the future doesn't matter when the present is infinite. I crave complex communication, It hums in my throat and aches hot coal in my tummy. i wonder if i can live life. i wonder if i'd get a job. i wonder if it would kill me. i wonder if i would let me .
Grocery shopping tomorrow. don't tell anyone, but im going to pretend to be an adult. walk the aisles like I shoulder the responsibility of choice. Read the ingredients lists, place it gently in the cart like im going to pay. I'll wear that skin until it's my own. Or until I die
soba
SUNDAY, JUNE 5 2025 - it is far past your bedtime
it's horrible it Must Be Horrible. i don't understand how people do it, how adults do it. how you just Live. it must be terrifying. i think of people in their 20's and theres no other conclusion: it must be terrifying. i am so Scared. i think of recipes and cooking and it scares me. i think of money and jobs and its terrifying. i can barely string together a routine, i am tired always, i don't understand how working would even begin for a person like me.
i'm scared. of cleaning. of laundry and dishes. of sweeping the floors of rent of money. of jobs, of working, how would any of that Not Kill a person like me. i don't understand anyone at all. everyone is so beyond my comprehension i don't get it. it must be so scary. it must be terrifying. it must kill you.
if you want your body to be consistent with you, you have to be consistent with your body. " this sentence makes me furrow my brows.
soba
SUNDAY, JUNE 1 2025 - AN UNRAVELING
OK. hello there ! this morning birth started off with playing music in the shower. my water was warm against my skin. i made myself coffee.
i spent time blogging my giggles. i kissed the inbetween of my book. it's pages smell like a promise.
it's the Same october feeling. hozier playing in the background. im so sleepy, i want to go to bed. i am not sad about it.